Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
