All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
