You're completely useless in the revolution.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize