Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
You work out of a Hotel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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