he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
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I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
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Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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