i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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