Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
