Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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