super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
