one two three fourrrrnication!
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize