Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
