dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
