Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
dude i'm inner monologue high
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
