Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He passed out mid-signature
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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