his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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