she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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