This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
