Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
