I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
