Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Randomize
