this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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