glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
