you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
