You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
