When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
