then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
