He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
