fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
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I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
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What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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