he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
