I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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