So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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