My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
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For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
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It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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