what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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