yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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