Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
