Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
she looked like the before picture.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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