I only kidnapped one of them. chill
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
