Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
