You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
