he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
