What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
