garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
