Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I supernannyed him into submission
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
