Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
