lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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