i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
