I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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