I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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