And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
this is an emotional support booty call
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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