I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
