You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
