New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
