Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
