the new term for farting is butt boxing.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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