Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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