champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
