I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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