Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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