I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize