I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
It's never too late to be topless.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Come share oat with me in your robe
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
