this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
